today was pretty normal. laze around the whole day. had ice cream vanilla cashew delight "desert after dinner" kinda regretted taking some. i didnt go out for jog cause it looked like it was going to rain. i waited for it to come and it didnt rain. was just plain piss.
today vincent aka sergei came spoke to me after a very very very long time. we clicked in an instant. he told me things and put it in the way i can understand. "he's deep and yes maybe i was the dumb one." i asked him questions and he showed me his poetry and songs.
he told me a lot of things it was fun. it kept me occupied at least, i wasnt worrying a lot. he makes an awesome elder brother. he told me his girlfriend and his life in the US. he calls me his "baby sister" and i just started giggling. we gave each other online hugs and kisses.
it did be weird for you guys for online hugs and kisses and hair ruffling.. but its not for me. i find it rather nice. if i were there it did happen. it was fun chatting with him again. and he decides to go to bed after 30hours being awake.
the rest of the night was spent waiting for my dearest to come on.. he came on for a while and went off because his net has problems. here i am texting and blogging at the same time. today i realize a few things. my questions were answered. and i am sure of what i feel now. clear cut. that is thanks to my bro.
it started when i told ilmin about it, i felt insecure..very insecure.. it didnt go away in an hour. hang on phone with jo and i found out maybe what was wrong with the way i felt. wasnt happy nor was i upset after finding out what was wrong.
after hanging on the phone with jo i felt a lot better. and regretted for what i told. it's still too early to find out what i feel. maybe not just yet. im not ready. i did like to stick to now. ill bury it deep down and someday maybe i will dig it up again. my confidence on this is still not enough maybe being insecure does help or im over thinking things?
quote for the day:I know well what I am fleeing from but not what I am in search of. ~Michel de Montaigne
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